Love makes one retirement community stand heads above the rest

In November 2025 my wife Linda had a stroke. It wasn’t severe, but after a hospital stay we moved her into an “assisted living” facility where she underwent speech and physical therapy. She had always cooked, so under her guidance I managed to “assemble” some nutritious meals and manage the house and finances on my own.

After exhaustive research and visiting several assisted living facilities, we chose “Facility A” for Linda.

• highest rating in the city; a price we could afford
• people we didn’t know and others who had parents living there said it was “wonderful”
• our meeting with the sales manager was very positive; we were all impressed
• the facility was beautiful, secure, well maintained and the food we sampled was good
• plenty of activities; easy free parking and the people we met were friendly and welcoming

As expected, in a move to institutional living, there were things we liked and didn’t like.

Months past. Because “everything was on the wrong floor” of our two story house (one of my computers was upstairs, the other in the basement). I was exhausted and my knees were suffering. We didn’t know if Linda could come home and my health was declining from too much stress. Clearly, our 50-year home wasn’t going to work; we needed a “one floor plan.”

After an extensive research , mainly by my daughter and her husband, we moved two hours north to our current residence—”Facility B,” which is twenty minutes away from them. I had a lot of stuff associated with my writing, photography and attempts at watercolor painting, so I have a one bedroom apartment and Linda’s studio apartment is 40 steps down the hall.

We’ve been here a little over two months and we’re very pleased; good decision and good choice. Our rooms are very nice and the food is wonderful, far better than Facility A. I drive to the grocery and other stores, and to my delight have been photographing in nearby parks and nature preserves. Fresh locations for photography is golden!

Having personally experienced two assisted living facilities, something I hadn’t expected came to light—the difference between “care” and “caring.”

Although it was not part of our criteria in searching for a facility, it happened that both institutions were owned by Christian corporations. They were non-denominal with no apparent agenda, other than providing diverse religious services for those who wanted that.

Facility A (For profit)

The nurses and staff were competent. It it often took the aids from 10 minutes to a half-hour to show up after the patients pressed their call button (worn as a pendant around the neck). When they came, they did what the patient wanted and left. Some of the aids insisted that Linda conform to a protocol that most of the other patients followed. When she didn’t, there were arguments. After a while the aids and nurses and she developed an adversarial relationship. It became apparent that the aids in particular weren’t happy with their jobs.

Facility B: (Non-profit)

Here too, the staff, top to bottom, is competent. Now when Linda calls for assistance an aid or nurse shows up within 5 minutes. Every time. When she didn’t conform to what most other residents were doing, they let her be. Total freedom. No nagging, no argument. The difference in attitude couldn’t have been greater.

Here, the staff—at all levels—is friendly. Even cheerful. So often we hear how they’re loving their jobs. And it shows. Rather than leave the room after attending to a person’s needs, they talk for a bit, admiring the furnishings and artwork on the walls. They genuinely want to know us better, call us by name, ask what’s going on and show us photos on their smartphones. Quite often I received special favors without even asking.

“Care” and “Caring”

Facility A’s mission statement was a near carbon copy of the assisted living facilities we’d researched—”enhancing resident lives, personalized care, active living, providing a supportive environment, promotes independence, wellness and community connection.” The nurses and aids did their jobs, but with no evidence of compassion or real caring about the residents. The culture was dry and impersonal, relying on weekly entertainment events where the staff, generally unsuccessfully, tried to engage the residents. Overall, the vibration was gloomy.

The wording of Facility B’s mission includes terms such as “purposeful service, compassion, inclusion, excellence, servant leadership, commitment to creating a loving environment, a lifestyle filled with purpose, comfort, independence with connection where older adults can thrive.” The employees are not only competent, they radiate caring, kindness, cheerfulness and compassion—values that are in evidence in this culture. The vibration here is friendly, cheerful and engaging.

Causal Factors

Perhaps the non-profit status accounts for some of the outpouring of genuine caring at Facility B. But then—and no one speaks of it—I get the distinct impression that most people working here have a spiritual or religious motivation. With some exceptions, these aren’t just jobs or career tracks for them. From the way they talk, theirs is a vocation.

Love is the vibration, the energy, a unified self. At a more basic level it is our thoughts that most powerfully affect our physical well-being. The cells in our body react to everything the mind generates, consciously and unconsciously. Negativity, the lower vibrations, bring down the immune system and the optimum functioning of the body is compromised. Positivity, higher vibrations, sustain health and well-being at every level. Love is the highest vibration.

 Isira Sananda, Wisdom teacher and Indigenous Elder

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My other sites:

David L. Smith Photography Portfolio.com

Ancient Maya Cultural Traits.com: Weekly blog featuring the traits that made this civilization unique

Spiritual Visionaries.com: Access to 81 free videos on YouTube featuring thought leaders and events of the 1980s.